When can I be fitted with my strait jacket?

The other day, after a particularly stressful trip to the grocery store (i.e. MAJOR temper tantrum from Drew), I decided to take the long way home to try to get my oldest little darling to fall asleep because he was clearly tired. My nerves were completely frazzled after trying to check out while Drew acted like a head spinning, pea soup chucking spawn of you know who. Not recognizing the route we were taking on the way home, Drew said "Mom, where are we going?" To which I replied "Crazy." So he said "May I go Crazy too?" My pleasure buddy, just get in line. I love my children beyond words but some days I feel like a mommy on the edge. Today has been one of those days.
Actually it all comes down to a couple of hours. The events mentioned below all happened within 2 hours. It has been quite an afternoon. Between cleaning up poop, vomit and pee, I am one nervous breakdown away from the looney bin. Remember how I said Drew was sometimes hit or miss with his potty training? Well, today was a miss. Let's just say diarrhea and big boy underwear don't mix. Ugh. Drew spent some time hosing off in the shower while I got out the rubber gloves and tried not to puke everywhere. One pair of clothes in the wash. After the clean up, I decided to engage the kids in a nice calm activity like coloring. Drew, of course, uses the markers and does not put the lids back on. I turn my back for 2 seconds (isn't it always just 2 seconds?) and Avery finds the lid-less markers and starts to eat/chew/suck on them. I find her with red ink dripping down her face and body and snatch the marker from her mouth. Now she is thoroughly upset that I have taken away her snack. In no time at all, her clothes have been covered in red ink and it has soaked through to her skin. Lovely. Another pair of clothes into the wash. While I'm taking off her clothes, I notice that Drew needs to use the potty but is trying to hold it so he can continue to color. There is a wet spot on the front of his pants (more clothes in the wash) so I shoo him to the potty before I have to clean another mess off the floor. At this point, both kids are down to their underwear/diaper and I'm not putting clothes back on them until bedtime. It's about that time of day when I try to tidy up the house before Brent gets home so I put the kids in Drew's room to play while I start to pick things up. Surely they're out of bodily fluids by now?
Ha! How could I be so foolish? The next thing I know, I hear Drew laughing that the baby has thrown up and now I'm cleaning red marker puke out of the carpet. I moved Avery out of the room so I could clean the carpet and when I walk out of the room, I see her at Drew's little potty, splashing in the "water" that Drew just relieved himself of minutes before. Oh.My.Gosh. Where did these children come from? They are 2 steps ahead of me with their mischief and one of these days it will catch up to me and I will have to be committed to the looney bin. Maybe I should call and get put on the waiting list right now.